CCS Disability Action acknowledges our incredible team of Foster Carers this Foster Carer Awareness Week. On behalf of the people we support, we thank you.
Here we share the story of the Proffner family who, as well as welcoming a new baby into their lives, are breaking a few ideas about what a caregiver might look like.
Like the family that lives there, the Proffner home is warm and inviting. Walking inside feels like entering a topsy-turvy world of cartoons, toys and ready hugs. This is the perfect place for children. Tracey Proffner and her daughter Brittany would not have it any other way.
Fostering a child is a team effort for the Proffner family. Single mum Tracey lives in Manurewa with her four children; Brittany (21), Brooke (14), Mitchell (12) and Evie (11). Tracey works in home-based care and has made the jump to caregiving for CCS Disability Action. With the help of eldest Brittany the pair currently share care for baby Arthur* who is 21 months old. Their home is fully accessible meaning Brittany, who uses a power chair, has the run of the house. It's also the perfect environment to support kids who need a place to call home.
When Michelle Herewini, Team Leader for the Children and Families team, visited the pair to assess their potential as caregivers, she didn't see Brittany's impairment as a problem. "Michelle was really open to that because she didn't see my disability as a barrier whereas a lot of other people do," Brittany says.
Tracey has been happy with the support she has received from her Community Support Coordinator Liz Goldsworthy and Senior Coordinator, Fiona McDonald. "They're just at the end of the phone. They're on-call in the weekend. And no question is too stupid I found out," she says. "Some of the silliest questions are really important to be answered." On the other hand, Tracey appreciates the fact that the organisation gives her the space she needs to "get on with it". "You don't feel like somebody's breathing down your back. And you get told you're doing a good job which is really nice," she says.
Tracey and Brittany are also happy with the way the rest of her family have taken Arthur into their hearts. "Even my brother, who's 12, he'll bring all his mates round. They'll sit there and play with him," Brittany says. The children that Tracey looks after during the day have accepted the new member of the household—including that most contested childhood territory, sharing their toys!
Brittany believes the busy household and warm atmosphere have helped make Arthur feel at home. "He didn't like touch when he first came and now he'll give you a cuddle," Brittany says. Tracey explains that his Child Youth and Family Social Worker has been amazed by the transformation, explaining she could not "get over what a different boy he's become".
While Arthur is easy-going, like so many babies, they have learned he has a sweet tooth. "He likes icing, we figured out," Brittany says. "He went straight for my birthday cake at my 21st and started licking the icing off!" He also has a love for all things stripy. "As long as you wear stripes everything's okay," Brittany jokes, pointing to her stripy outfit as she cuddles Arthur. In terms of challenges, Tracey and Brittany feel it's been relatively easy, in part perhaps because of their 'take-it-in-your-stride' attitude.
The only slight hiccup they experienced was when he was unwell for a time. "That was probably the biggest challenge, just not knowing what he wanted and when he was unwell. Because when you don't have them from birth you don't know the tell-tale signs of what they want," Tracey says. "Apart from that he's been happy."
At the time of our interview, Tracey and her family had had Arthur with them for eight weeks. While it's never possible to say exactly, it's expected that he will stay with them for around 6-12 months overall. Mother and daughter have different takes on the thought of life without their newest member. "It's going to wreck us when he goes," Brittany says, voice trembling.
By contrast Tracey has made her peace with the fact that she will have to say goodbye, safe in the knowledge that they have given him a lovely home, albeit a short-term one. "I think it will be hard. But if I've done a good job and he's going somewhere—whether it's back to mum and dad or somewhere else—he's loved."
Tracey learned about becoming a Foster Carer through an advert on the back of an issue of the Auckland branch newsletter. While she recognises the toll it can take, she would recommend becoming a caregiver, especially with CCS Disability Action. "They take great consideration on the right child for the family. They don't just place any child to any family. They do look at the whole picture," she says.
The connection with the organisation has also seen Brittany reconsider her own future. She recently referred herself to CCS Disability Action's Transition Services, after feeling limited by others' expectations of what she can achieve in life. She is keen to use the skills she has gained from volunteering as a buddy with IDEA Services, and this new role as a caregiver, to see if these skills might lead into a career—potentially working to support other disabled people. It's an exciting prospect, so we will watch this space!
*Name changed to protect this wee person’s privacy.
